Philippines 2015 - Day 1 - Flight to Incheon, Korea

I almost fainted :(

Being a scientist myself, I was mesmerised by these MRI scan animations.

Well, this is an inconvenience. It's not really a good way to start the year when I start feeling woozy from time to time. In January alone, I almost passed out three times! The scariest one was after hitting the gym. Right after showering in the changing rooms, I had an episode where I felt so weak, everything around me started spinning. My legs were trembling and my arms were as wobbly as liquorice pencils. Thankfully I managed to get myself home after that ordeal, but it happened again a few days later. 

It's rather pointless of having me divulge anything further. The fact of the matter is that I've overworked myself again to the point where my constitution started to suffer. Being slightly hypotensive and having the usual low blood glucose levels, I realised that I was putting my studies in front of my health. University can take a toll on people. Mine, however scary it may be, thankfully started to manifest fairly early on. Lack of sleep, skipping meals (and not eating the right foods) and doing intense strenuous excercise without eating beforehand are not things to mix in a cocktail jar - they only lead to a cacophonous scenario, one that is never pleasant nor healthy. 

I had an MRI scan of my heart. Thankfully nothing seems to be wrong although I was told by the doctor at the hospital that I am a little bit iron-deficient. So as a precaution, I started taking multivitamin tablets. 

Let this be a warning to you all. University may be one of the best times of your life, but the stresses that come with it must be dealt with seriously as you may suffer the consequences stemming from the pressures it brings. Trust me, I'm a cautionary tale...

If things do get somewhat out-of-hand, I urge you to let your friends and family know about your situation if need be, so that in the most dire of cases, they'll be there to lend you a helping-hand. At times, they're the best team of support you can have.

I hope to see you guys in the future J

Phew! Thank goodness they missed the nipple. It would have been an unpleasant sensation having to peel those sticky things off of that left nip :P

Resolutions, Resolutions, Resolutions!

‘Tis another year & another attempt at changing my life, in some ways. We put so much emphasis on things we would like to do and things that we should do better, but honestly, based on statistics, we tend to fail within weeks or even days of doing so. What we really need to think about is how we could leave the negative in our lives. With that in mind we could focus on the positive things. To quote the ‘Life of Brian’, the song goes, “Always look on the bright side of life.”

Before I list my New Year’s Resolution, here is a read:

http://elitedaily.com/life/20s-things-you-need-to-let-go-to-live-happy-life/

Alright, my list isn’t perfect but it’s a start!

· Do better in university

My 1^st year was rather ephemeral and I got a first honours position, but I feel the start of my 2^nd year could have been better. This is due to the plethora of extracurricular activities I participate in, such as sports and societies. Also, I made more friends and reinforced my bonds with acquaintances which meant I have more ‘social’ potential – sadly, this lead to me focusing on that rather than more hours sitting in the library with my eyes on the book. There is nothing wrong with socialising, but I mustn’t keep that a priority. After all, I’m in university for one thing – to further my career.

This is what my desk looks like during revision nights

·  Be in a relationship

London has given me friends that have been informative with regards to living here and ‘loving’ here. The life of a gay man in London can be seen as somewhat flamboyant and reckless. Thankfully, I am neither of those.

For a long time I thought to myself that being single is a good thing. I’m at that age where I see my friends all hitched, whereas I am stuck in the dating game. I have to try harder to find a boyfriend, but not be desperate for one. I need to have a taste of what it feels like to be in a committed relationship. For me to have experienced a one-way love was warmly comforting, but edged more towards the delusional and painful. I’m looking for a perfect guy, as I know he doesn’t exist and emphasis on having similarities and similar tastes in whatever aspect of life is, to be frank, in my honest opinion, is stupid and picky. Having dated a few men, all I can say is that providing the man has a kind persona, memorable charisma and is passionate; to me those attributes will suffice.

There is still one man who I have yet to let go. His name shall not be spoken, however, to those of you wondering…well…all I can say is…he is the man I would give my whole life to, but I’m starting to realise that it may never come to that. Nevertheless, I see him everywhere. The places in London we’ve been to or have walked passed; the food we ate, the bars we had a pint in, the cafés where we had our profound chats in, the museums we visited, the sport we both loved…the bed we shared for that special moment. I know it will take me some time to heal, but one thing I wish is for those memories to be etched in my mind, as he is one truly special man.

My friend's nail art for the London LGBT pride - emphasis on Equal Love

·   Be fitter

The first semester of this academic year was a good start in terms of getting physically fitter. I’m part of my university’s mixed Lacrosse team, I play badminton and volleyball recreationally on bi-weekly basis and I practice Capoeira. So why is this on my list? Well ‘to be fitter’ is a rather ambiguous statement to make. I need to go to the gym and add more weight and make healthier options when it comes to meal times. I’ve always been skinny my whole life. I don’t hate my body image, I just want to be seen as the conventional idea of masculine, in other words – MUSCLES! I have this fascination with the human physique, but more so with the male form than the female form. For years I’ve laboured to amass information on how to put on weight, do gym exercises and eat right. It is only during last semester that I’ve started to benefit on that work – that is probably because I FINALLY have a gym subscription. I have set myself on regular training schedule and doing the same sort of exercises to hit my targets. All I need to do now is stick to it and avoid plateaus. Remember, consistency is the key to workout goals!

Sexy Santa Helper?

Badminton practice

·   Become an early birdie

Everyone who knows me knows that I am a night owl. Upon typing this blog post, I have been awake for just over an hour – I woke up at 15:00. :P

This has been a challenge for me since my teenage years. I just can’t seem to sleep right. MY sleeping patterns are off the charts, to the extremes in fact – oversleeping or under-sleeping, yet feeling replenished pretty much on every waking occasion. Being a biomedical science student, I have access to the latest research on things human-related. My neuroscience friends tell me the importance of sleep and keeping to it could change my life. I must do more to try and sleep by 10pm and wake up at around 7am. I need to do this so that I can be efficient during the weekdays. If I don’t, I would miss lectures, be lethargic, miss personal deadlines on studying/revision etc.

I can heard this beast gong from where I live every night

There are other things I have in my mind for NYR, but to me these 4 are the most important ones. I didn’t want to list trivial stuff such as - be tidier (which I already am anyways), spend less money, read more books, travel more yadayadayada. To me NYR’s are supposed to be the major changes I would like to see accomplished in the year ahead. I think 4 good ones are enough of a challenge.

I shall keep you all informed on the task ahead. I think my readers should have a nickname…’bits and nibbles’ is rather fitting. Anywho, I hope to see you in the future J.

All photos are copyrighted material of Rizen Tablada.

2013...Get the f*** out of here! 2014...Come on in.

I keep telling myself to do a journal, a blog or vlogs, but I just can't seem to find an inner will to do those things nor the courage to keep them going.

Well for over 4 years since I was 'inspired' to create these personal journals and share them to the world to see, I think 2014 truly is the time do FINALLY do blogs on a regular basis. 

NO EXCUSES THIS TIME! This year, I vow to myself to find time and be disciplined in order to record and creates memoirs of my everyday life. The last  blog post was almost two years ago and a lot of things has happened to me since then. These include, but not limited to, entering university and moving to London, coming to terms with and accepting my sexuality, being a lot fitter, dampening my mild social anxiety to becoming somewhat of a socialite etc.

I want to be able to look back in my life having my memories etched on paper or in the digital age, on the web. Not only that, I would like the ability to share it around the world so that somewhere and someone will be inspired to put themselves in motion and leave their eyes, burning, for the thrill that is of course, life and the playground that is of course, the earth. 

My name is Rizen and this is my story. It'll be a good one... :)

Picture : Me, at the Royal Albert Hall in London. 31/12/2013

A right-up S***hole

Gloucester has been my hometown for twelve years. However, for the last few years I have been promising to get out of this god-forsaken town. In British English, this place is what we call 'rough'. The people here over the years has become too complacent and vile. I'm not saying all of them are - there are a lot of kind-hearted individuals that I respect and admire having known them for so long - but it is very hard to get out of the house without seeing people not have some form of etiquette or respect towards another. For example at night people walkabout like zombies after having a proper booze session to get hammered. Gloucester town in the evening is really scary. This was not the case when I was a kid when going through the city centre was a calm stroll.


Chavs are low-life vandalisers who choose to form gangs and make everything around them turn to shit. My local bus stop always has some form of damage, at times grave breakages.
Did I forget to mention they only care about themselves!? Chavs are those people who play loud music when you're in the bus. Shrieking teenagers or who talk so loud you can't get a well deserved nap time in the hour-long bus journeys from college to home.


One of the rife issues in England has been racial discrimination. I for one has been a victim of this. There's just no time ever outside this house where you can just walk around without being subjected to this kind of bullying.
You know what's worse, is when you see this being done to someone else. Usually they are people of colour. I once witnessed middle-eastern man being targeted by two teenage girls whilst I was on the bus. I found the scene harrowing. The guy was so helpless. I couldn't really do anything & everyone in the the bus just observed mercilessly. It's even more aggravating when a friend of yours is the victim. I get so frustrated at times that I used easily punch on of these low-lifes regardless of their gender (feminism, yay!).


It's not discrimination to hate Chavs. A lot of my friends and neighbours do agree that they are problematic entities that tries to defile the British society. It's hard to speak about these issues because no one really likes politics but this is the case here in Gloucester. I just wish that human rights have less power over how the government here in the UK makes decisions. The police should be given more powers to combat these yobs and that as law-abiding citizens we should have the right to use an excessive force to protect ourselves without having to be sued by the suspect in question afterwards. Why has Britain become a playground to criminals and demons? It isn't fair to those who just want to live peacefully.


One thing for sure, once I leave Gloucester, I will do everything in my power not to ever visit this place again. Of course, not until this historically beautiful city has been wiped clean of those vile thugs.

Memories of old...

I know, I know. It must be crazy to start packing for university even though it is 4 months away nor have I officially passed my exams, but it's always good to start things early - gives you more time in between. I opened a suitcase full of clothes most of which are new (bulk buying during sales season; factory sealed!) which has been underneath my bed for years. Underneath, I managed to find some apparel that reminded me of fond memories...or rather missed chances. 

Growing up as a kid, I never wanted myself to follow a career path leading into medicine. My decisions were always changing - to become an astronomer or an artistic gymnast or a professional violinist. Don't get me wrong, I love science in general, especially the biological sciences, but I always thought of myself as someone who will follow a childhood passion in the adult world. Twenty two is a young age, but a person like me wonders sometimes of what could have been if I hadn't stopped my violin lessons or stop taking part in gymnastics. The sad thing about this, buddy, is that I still want to do them. I promised myself I will be retaking violin lessons (as well as other instruments) during my university years, but gymnastics is one of those things you can't really go back into when you are grown up. I will still join a gym and hopefully find a tumble track I can practice on, but the dream really ends there.

So how does this relate to the clothes I found in that old suitcase? Well, clothes like the leotard, stirrup leggings for gymnastics and ties I wore during music concerts/recitals were all in there. I am not a hoarder, but those are just some things I can't throw away. Damned, I will be, if I ever did.

February 2007

May 2012

I will surely miss my bedroom. It has been subjected to numerous refurbishments over the last twelve years, more so in the last three years where I've become an interior design fanatic with emphasis on contemporary & Asian minimalist Zen themes. 

There are a lot of good memories here. In a way it is a prison, but a very good one at that. The last two years have been mostly spent here - studying for college, dining for breakfast and dinner, watching TV etc. Back then my friends would just come in and stay there for a good social time. It's been a while since that happened. 

When I went to visit some universities last year, I found that all of the single rooms in the dormitories are really small for a very high renting price! How can anyone study in such a closed cubicle? I guess in London, space must be compromised for the sake of lowering the prices.

Writing this, I just realised I sounded like a rich spoilt git (which I am not!). By the way, my bedroom looks big because it's half the size of the entire attic in my family's converted bungalow house - where normal, [poorer] working class citizens like me live!

Restart...

Well it has been a while since I've posted and things were not done as promised. First of all, I apologize for not doing anything for two years straight on this blog. Back then making a blog was such a trend that I thought I'd do one myself! However, the ecstasy of hype can get too high that one can eventually fall, crashing back down...this is the case fore me...


The Philippine Trip of 2010 has come and gone and not one post was made then. It's partly because of the lack of good infrastructure available in the Philippines. It was hard to get a good internet connection and even harder to find a cybercafe in the provinces areas where my family and I stayed mostly. Not forgetting to mention, would I had really been bothered to have a sit down with my face on the laptop and type about my experience there? Of course not! Holidaymaker should always enjoy the holiday! But why haven't I done a blog after the vacation? Well, that was the time I went back to sixth form and do a complete set of A-Levels. It has been almost two years, but I am almost finished. I have two months worth of school time left and eight exams to pass. I have been sleep-deprived for the last three weeks due to constant revision - day and night. In spite of all this, to treat myself, I thought of restarting this blog of mine I so wanted to keep running upon the initial launch. I will be posting random things or events around my life  - sort of a web diary if you will. This will come in handy during my university years which I will be starting, hopefully this coming September providing that I get at least ABB with my A-Level results (i'm so nervous about it!)


I've made my firm and insurance decisions to study Medical Biochemistry in either King's College or Royal Holloway College, respectively, both of which are part of the University of London umbrella. I cannot wait to start my [almost] independent life in London! Hopefully this blog will be kept updated with things I find in London.


I'll leave this post as it is. It's only an intro (a long one at that!), but I hope I can find the time in order to keep it updated from now onwards. It will be busy in the coming weeks due to exams but I'll keep you posted, buddy! :{)